Here is one of my dearest most beloved friends, Naomi Shihab Nye, being interviewed by Bill Moyers where she reads her poem "The Art of Disappearing." Below is a portion of the transcript and Naomi reading this most beautiful poem. Enjoy!
BILL MOYERS: I want to come back in closing to-- to what is my favorite poem of yours. The one that-- that helped me most after I was recovering from heart surgery. I actually carry it around. In very tiny print. You can't read that, in my wallet. I read it. I don't know if I can follow it but I-- I am constantly reading it. And I printed it out for you to read. As you know, this is my favorite.
What beauty! I love you, my friend.
In the hustle and bustle of life and in the many moments of disingenuous encounters, what significance does this poem have for you? How is it significant personally or professionally?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Being a Builder
Build inwardly; this is the best assurance of immeasurable success--the kind that the whole world needs out of which comes love, passion, excellence, and kindness.
Building inwardly requires a certain humility, determination, grace, and fearlessness ...already given. "I have given you all things pertaining to life and Godliness, " the forever path of seeking goodness.
What are you building?
Building inwardly requires a certain humility, determination, grace, and fearlessness ...already given. "I have given you all things pertaining to life and Godliness, " the forever path of seeking goodness.
What are you building?
Friday, May 30, 2008
Being Passionate
Being passionate about just about everything that I have ever done, I must confess to having the wind knocked out of my sails, buckets of water doused on me, and my passion thought of as out of step.
Over time I have learned to curtail my enthusiasm...to some degree. But believe me, my passion has caused some pain early on when my colorful expressions, idealism, and fearlessness just didn't seem to fit.
Having grown a little wiser, I have learned to listen to others more closely, understanding their particular orientation; this has helped me to both mirror others and remain my passionate self. This includes the all-important empathy factor.
Where my ideas are not appreciated or valued, I go where I'm celebrated and where I can freely celebrate others, no matter the difference of opinion. When other environments (those hostile to passion) are apparent, I still strive, understanding clearly where I am and to whom I'm speaking.
Passion is a function of wisdom and understanding. How passionate are you?
Over time I have learned to curtail my enthusiasm...to some degree. But believe me, my passion has caused some pain early on when my colorful expressions, idealism, and fearlessness just didn't seem to fit.
Having grown a little wiser, I have learned to listen to others more closely, understanding their particular orientation; this has helped me to both mirror others and remain my passionate self. This includes the all-important empathy factor.
Where my ideas are not appreciated or valued, I go where I'm celebrated and where I can freely celebrate others, no matter the difference of opinion. When other environments (those hostile to passion) are apparent, I still strive, understanding clearly where I am and to whom I'm speaking.
Passion is a function of wisdom and understanding. How passionate are you?
Being Outwardly Responsive to an Inward Beginning
Who is responsible for the lack of ingenuity or the lack of design in the 'hood? In a recent post on http://www.tompeters.com/, Tom Peters writes about the great work that the mayor of Seoul is doing in implementing design by beginning with the necessary things. In a response to a comment about the seemingly more importance of the "'lunatic fringe' of design," Tom Peters brilliantly responds. Here is his response and mine, mostly duplicated.
"Richard, I don't disagree with much-most of what you said. Yet I have an abiding view of life: If it ain't been implemented it's still "new"! That is, I heartily applaud Korea's effort to put design front and center as a national economic strategy--and I don't really give a damn if it's cutting edge or not. The Mayor of Seoul is working diligently on cleaning up several block areas--one at a time. To be sure, there is nothing "cutting edge" about clean streets and tidy sidewalks and nice signage. But is arguably exactly the right prescription for Seoul at the moment. (Other 'cooler' parts of the program include the likes of heavy investment in new museums.) While it is more "fun" for me to talk about the IDEOs and Imaginations, Seoul's sparkling neighborhoods and new green spaces are a wonderful start on a "culture of design" per my lights."
Reading Tom Peters' comment I thought of all the neighborhoods in the 'hood around the US and wondered if government officials and neighbors would just do the things that they can do, like implementing regular clean ups by simply picking up the trash on their streets, and, of course, not throwing any down, that would be a great start to re-building, a re-designing, of sorts. The communities are already built. What now has to be valued is the neighborhoods in which the neighbors live and this has to come from inward pride, an inward sense of ownership and responsibility. Money is not the only solution to all problems.
Many times we want to go for the major stuff or simply the stuff that catches the eye when the simple stuff, not to say at all that other stuff does not need addressing, would at least lead to the best beginning. It's all about that beginning, that mindset of change that makes the difference. I must also admit, thinking about the erection of grandness amid squalor that such a site can be admirable and inspiring, like a wild flower patch among the naturally greening of some neighborhoods that have had burned out houses in its stead. Remaining dilapidated houses still stand among such greenery. How's that for the greening of neighborhoods?
It is in the spirit of the aforementioned beginning that I applaud the mayor of Seoul for his efforts. But I also most certainly appreciate the new museum, undoubtedly cutting edge. Funny...years ago the City of Detroit opened up one of the largest, most beautiful museums to honor the accomplishments of African Americans. I was hired in the year it opened. It was marvelous just walking around that building. It's a marvelous design! Initially, there were many supporters, but as time went on the visitors tapered off.
Now, there are other issues for the tapering to be sure, as I witnessed it up front, as many other museums have had, including the DIA, the home of the extraordinary Diego murals. But what struck me profoundly was the necessity of doing the small stuff, such as picking up the trash in your neighborhoods that would carry over to honoring those who have gone on before. (Honoring yourself is key.) It's always the small stuff out of which larger, cutting edge stuff, can be built for a more surer foundation.
Disclaimer: I repeat...I am not at all naively suggesting that there is one solution to such problems as dilapidated neighborhoods, nor am I suggesting that this human problem, of not doing the simple stuff, is endemic to a certain people. (Of course, we know that here with just our decisions of avoiding the small stuff in our businesses.) I am, however, passionately suggesting that there are always things that we each can do individually to jump start those larger more cutting edge things out of which the smaller things are the foundations for such great success. Build inwardly; the outward design will be beautifully implemented and more appreciated.
I'm suggesting a "new" thing. Pick up the trash. This is the necessary inward beginning to a needed outward response.
"Richard, I don't disagree with much-most of what you said. Yet I have an abiding view of life: If it ain't been implemented it's still "new"! That is, I heartily applaud Korea's effort to put design front and center as a national economic strategy--and I don't really give a damn if it's cutting edge or not. The Mayor of Seoul is working diligently on cleaning up several block areas--one at a time. To be sure, there is nothing "cutting edge" about clean streets and tidy sidewalks and nice signage. But is arguably exactly the right prescription for Seoul at the moment. (Other 'cooler' parts of the program include the likes of heavy investment in new museums.) While it is more "fun" for me to talk about the IDEOs and Imaginations, Seoul's sparkling neighborhoods and new green spaces are a wonderful start on a "culture of design" per my lights."
Reading Tom Peters' comment I thought of all the neighborhoods in the 'hood around the US and wondered if government officials and neighbors would just do the things that they can do, like implementing regular clean ups by simply picking up the trash on their streets, and, of course, not throwing any down, that would be a great start to re-building, a re-designing, of sorts. The communities are already built. What now has to be valued is the neighborhoods in which the neighbors live and this has to come from inward pride, an inward sense of ownership and responsibility. Money is not the only solution to all problems.
Many times we want to go for the major stuff or simply the stuff that catches the eye when the simple stuff, not to say at all that other stuff does not need addressing, would at least lead to the best beginning. It's all about that beginning, that mindset of change that makes the difference. I must also admit, thinking about the erection of grandness amid squalor that such a site can be admirable and inspiring, like a wild flower patch among the naturally greening of some neighborhoods that have had burned out houses in its stead. Remaining dilapidated houses still stand among such greenery. How's that for the greening of neighborhoods?
It is in the spirit of the aforementioned beginning that I applaud the mayor of Seoul for his efforts. But I also most certainly appreciate the new museum, undoubtedly cutting edge. Funny...years ago the City of Detroit opened up one of the largest, most beautiful museums to honor the accomplishments of African Americans. I was hired in the year it opened. It was marvelous just walking around that building. It's a marvelous design! Initially, there were many supporters, but as time went on the visitors tapered off.
Now, there are other issues for the tapering to be sure, as I witnessed it up front, as many other museums have had, including the DIA, the home of the extraordinary Diego murals. But what struck me profoundly was the necessity of doing the small stuff, such as picking up the trash in your neighborhoods that would carry over to honoring those who have gone on before. (Honoring yourself is key.) It's always the small stuff out of which larger, cutting edge stuff, can be built for a more surer foundation.
Disclaimer: I repeat...I am not at all naively suggesting that there is one solution to such problems as dilapidated neighborhoods, nor am I suggesting that this human problem, of not doing the simple stuff, is endemic to a certain people. (Of course, we know that here with just our decisions of avoiding the small stuff in our businesses.) I am, however, passionately suggesting that there are always things that we each can do individually to jump start those larger more cutting edge things out of which the smaller things are the foundations for such great success. Build inwardly; the outward design will be beautifully implemented and more appreciated.
I'm suggesting a "new" thing. Pick up the trash. This is the necessary inward beginning to a needed outward response.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Being Able to Laugh at Yourself
It is most important to make fewer gaffes.
But it is also essential to simply laugh.
Do you take yourself too seriously?
But it is also essential to simply laugh.
Do you take yourself too seriously?
Being In Not So Easy Situations Pays
Having walked in one of the oldest family-owned plumbing stores in the metro Detroit area, Tenney's Plumbing, I came across the inspiring words on a plaque prominently displayed.
Tenney's is a cool place; there seemed to be millions of tiny and not so tiny shinning silver, copper and porcelain objects neatly aligned row after row with interesting names of body parts. I was fascinated by the pride, history and the old world charm of none less than a plumbing store. Everything seemed to sparkle in a store that has probably not had any major renovations since it was built many years ago. But it is has held up well.
I was there to pick up gerbers and I hadn't a clue what they were or their function. The pleasant attendant said to me after explaining their function and seeing that I was still completely clueless, "you're looking for gerbers as in the baby food and they used for..." Indeed. Now there were plumbing parts named after human anatomy and food brands too. OK. I can perhaps see how they all might properly fit in a plumbing store.
But how the plaque came to be a mainstay is probably how the business has had such success.
IT IS NOT EASY
*To Apologize
*To Begin Over
*To Take Advice
*To Be Unselfish
*To Admit Error
*To Face a Sneer
*To Be Charitable
*To Keep Trying
*To Be Considerate
*To Avoid Mistakes
*To Endure Success
*To Profit By Mistakes
*To Forgive and Forget
*To Think and then Act
*To Make the Best of Little
*To Subdue an Unruly Temper
*To Shoulder a Deserved Blame
*To Recognize the Silver Lining
BUT IT ALWAYS PAYS.
Tenney's is a cool place; there seemed to be millions of tiny and not so tiny shinning silver, copper and porcelain objects neatly aligned row after row with interesting names of body parts. I was fascinated by the pride, history and the old world charm of none less than a plumbing store. Everything seemed to sparkle in a store that has probably not had any major renovations since it was built many years ago. But it is has held up well.
I was there to pick up gerbers and I hadn't a clue what they were or their function. The pleasant attendant said to me after explaining their function and seeing that I was still completely clueless, "you're looking for gerbers as in the baby food and they used for..." Indeed. Now there were plumbing parts named after human anatomy and food brands too. OK. I can perhaps see how they all might properly fit in a plumbing store.
But how the plaque came to be a mainstay is probably how the business has had such success.
IT IS NOT EASY
*To Apologize
*To Begin Over
*To Take Advice
*To Be Unselfish
*To Admit Error
*To Face a Sneer
*To Be Charitable
*To Keep Trying
*To Be Considerate
*To Avoid Mistakes
*To Endure Success
*To Profit By Mistakes
*To Forgive and Forget
*To Think and then Act
*To Make the Best of Little
*To Subdue an Unruly Temper
*To Shoulder a Deserved Blame
*To Recognize the Silver Lining
BUT IT ALWAYS PAYS.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Being Revenge-Free
While watching one of my favorite TV shows, Monk, I heard these wonderful words:
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
I love these words.
Forgiveness is the very best way of freeing yourself of revenge.
Practice a lifestyle of forgiveness for your benefit; it heals completely.
Have you shown forgiveness for a wrong done to you lately?
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
I love these words.
Forgiveness is the very best way of freeing yourself of revenge.
Practice a lifestyle of forgiveness for your benefit; it heals completely.
Have you shown forgiveness for a wrong done to you lately?
Being Thoughtless
There is no such thing as a thoughtless human being. The question is what are you thinking? Thoughts are the basis for both action and inactivity. How active are you? Consider your thoughts. Our bias for action is what gets thoughts, powered by words, into the realm of reality, although what is real first begins with a thought.
While bias for action is appreciated and valued, our thoughts, which forms our words and reality, are never to be devalued. Even seemingly meaningless trivial didactic misconstrued misguided thoughts, out of which words are created and reality juxtaposed, can teach. (Who's afraid of free speech?) It is the power of words to influence and change that is the basis for everything. "In the beginning was the word..." Words have creative power, snatching thoughts out of the cerebral into the real.
Can we even have a thought or action without words? It can be posited that impulses are also driven by words, even though, by their very nature, they are believed to be actions void of thought. But somewhere thought was applied if not at the very moment of impulse, prior to it at some other moment. Thoughts, powered by words, is the basis of action and reality.
Your thoughts form your words which forms your reality. What are you thinking?
While bias for action is appreciated and valued, our thoughts, which forms our words and reality, are never to be devalued. Even seemingly meaningless trivial didactic misconstrued misguided thoughts, out of which words are created and reality juxtaposed, can teach. (Who's afraid of free speech?) It is the power of words to influence and change that is the basis for everything. "In the beginning was the word..." Words have creative power, snatching thoughts out of the cerebral into the real.
Can we even have a thought or action without words? It can be posited that impulses are also driven by words, even though, by their very nature, they are believed to be actions void of thought. But somewhere thought was applied if not at the very moment of impulse, prior to it at some other moment. Thoughts, powered by words, is the basis of action and reality.
Your thoughts form your words which forms your reality. What are you thinking?
Monday, May 26, 2008
Being Complain-Free
Are you a complainer? Here's a remedy. John Legend sings "I Won't Complain" Enjoy!
Let's be free of complaining. What good does it really do anyway?
Let's be free of complaining. What good does it really do anyway?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Being Among Black Swans
In a recent post, "READ IT! DAMN IT," Tom Peters urges us to purchase the book, The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. It arrived on my doorstep yesterday and I am LOVING it! One thing that struck me immediately in the prologue is that when the author speaks of the sightings of black swans he indicates that many have sent him pictures since the book, indicating that they are "quite ugly." Something struck me profoundly about this statement.
Purity, beauty, elegance and others such words associated with whiteness and by extension the color of swans are perhaps colored by by the assualt on consciousness of what whiteness entails. Such distinction such as "white swans" was never even a part of my consciousness, nor have I ever read of it in any books. SWANS ARE WHITE! Can anybody say SWAN LAKE!
Can you picture all the beauty of Tchaikovsky's music and the whiteness of the set, costumes, and ballerinas. Now imagine blackness on the same set being performed to the same music. Weird, eh? But to whom? Blackness is without doubt associated with darkness, ominous things, evil and other such words are in reverse associated in our consciousness. I can clearly see how such descriptives as "quite ugly" could be readily associated with black swans, although I'm sure their elegance and grace on the water is no different.
We may have all in the West have had the same reaction of the first sighting of black swans. Collective cultural consciousness is no joke, nor is our narrow understanding of the possible and our inability to see beyond what our physical eyes can see. Such matters need addressing (this book seems to be so relevant in this regard), for our world is indeed flatter than ever and our dependence on one another seems to be greater still.
Purity, beauty, elegance and others such words associated with whiteness and by extension the color of swans are perhaps colored by by the assualt on consciousness of what whiteness entails. Such distinction such as "white swans" was never even a part of my consciousness, nor have I ever read of it in any books. SWANS ARE WHITE! Can anybody say SWAN LAKE!
Can you picture all the beauty of Tchaikovsky's music and the whiteness of the set, costumes, and ballerinas. Now imagine blackness on the same set being performed to the same music. Weird, eh? But to whom? Blackness is without doubt associated with darkness, ominous things, evil and other such words are in reverse associated in our consciousness. I can clearly see how such descriptives as "quite ugly" could be readily associated with black swans, although I'm sure their elegance and grace on the water is no different.
We may have all in the West have had the same reaction of the first sighting of black swans. Collective cultural consciousness is no joke, nor is our narrow understanding of the possible and our inability to see beyond what our physical eyes can see. Such matters need addressing (this book seems to be so relevant in this regard), for our world is indeed flatter than ever and our dependence on one another seems to be greater still.
Being a Leader of Hope
After college, I first moved to southern California to live and study with a Metropolitan Opera singer and then later moved to New York to continue study. I spent countless hours in the library at Lincoln Center listening to music and watching videos of rehearsals and performances of The Metropolitan Opera and The New York City Ballet when George Balanchine was the choreographer. When Tom Peters spoke on a recent post of the choreographer and dancer and the leader who deals in hope, I thought of the many videos I watched and the wonderful books I read, notably Prodigal Son: Dancing for Balanchine in a World of Pain and Magic by ballet great Edward Villella.
Balanchine was indeed a dealer of hope, although some might say his leadership and choreography pushed dancers to the limit that physically and emotionally broke their spirits and bodies. His choreography seemed to defy laws of physics, taxing the bodies of dancers and creating beauty beyond belief, giving hope to dancers that their bodies as instruments of art could defy laws, entering the realm of magic and wonder. I was mesmerized by his creativity, his musicality, his discipline and his brilliance that “painted portraits of excellence” in motion.
As a manager of a rather large mixed use hotel, I used some of these same defying techniques which resulted in hope with my staff, especially the housekeeping staff as there were great issues there which affected our image and sales. The outcome was great. I sought to elevate the way in which housekeepers thought about themselves, instead of focusing on their jobs. This in turn resulted in greater performance, pushing themselves to outer limits. They became the focus and not the job. The focus was not on changing beds and cleaning rooms, but on them.
The New York City Ballet biography of Balanchine notes that instead of focusing on plots, he focused on the dancer; this brought forth the plot and created innovative movements based on the bodies and particulars of each dancer. Villella was lettered in baseball and a championship boxer. Balanchine recognized this, though perhaps not initially, and began to choreograph pieces for him with his athleticism in mind. The result was stellar! Villella’s performances were great sublime artistic athletic feats! As a choreographer, Balanchine generally de-emphasized plot in his ballets, preferring to let "dance be the star of the show." While focusing on staff instead of tasks may not be novel, it is nevertheless a good reminder that it brings personal creativity, innovation and an abundance of hope to those we lead.
A a leader, do you give those whom you lead hope?
Balanchine was indeed a dealer of hope, although some might say his leadership and choreography pushed dancers to the limit that physically and emotionally broke their spirits and bodies. His choreography seemed to defy laws of physics, taxing the bodies of dancers and creating beauty beyond belief, giving hope to dancers that their bodies as instruments of art could defy laws, entering the realm of magic and wonder. I was mesmerized by his creativity, his musicality, his discipline and his brilliance that “painted portraits of excellence” in motion.
As a manager of a rather large mixed use hotel, I used some of these same defying techniques which resulted in hope with my staff, especially the housekeeping staff as there were great issues there which affected our image and sales. The outcome was great. I sought to elevate the way in which housekeepers thought about themselves, instead of focusing on their jobs. This in turn resulted in greater performance, pushing themselves to outer limits. They became the focus and not the job. The focus was not on changing beds and cleaning rooms, but on them.
The New York City Ballet biography of Balanchine notes that instead of focusing on plots, he focused on the dancer; this brought forth the plot and created innovative movements based on the bodies and particulars of each dancer. Villella was lettered in baseball and a championship boxer. Balanchine recognized this, though perhaps not initially, and began to choreograph pieces for him with his athleticism in mind. The result was stellar! Villella’s performances were great sublime artistic athletic feats! As a choreographer, Balanchine generally de-emphasized plot in his ballets, preferring to let "dance be the star of the show." While focusing on staff instead of tasks may not be novel, it is nevertheless a good reminder that it brings personal creativity, innovation and an abundance of hope to those we lead.
A a leader, do you give those whom you lead hope?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Being Fearless in Love II
In today's Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington writes on fear: "I've written a lot about fear and fearlessness, and how fearlessness is not the absence of fear -- it's the mastery of fear. It's all about getting up one more time than we fall down. Has any public figure embodied this more powerfully and compellingly than Hillary Clinton?"
We master fear through love. Hillary Clinton focuses on her love of politics and her love of leading. This we have seen since her early college days as an activist. Surely the presidential process has not been easy and I'm sure as of late it has been more difficult not to succumb to fear. But Hillary presses forward in love. She moves day to day in determination, refusing to be fearful, in love and hot pursuit of the presidency.
Huffington says "it's all about getting up one more time than we fall down." Another wise saying reads "a wise man (or woman) falls down seven times and gets up eight." God bless Hillary Clinton for her great love, displayed in her fearless actions to run such a formidable presidential race. She has fallen down and yet arises, giving countless of young women the idea that Yes, We Can! For this, I am sincerely grateful.
We master fear through love. Hillary Clinton focuses on her love of politics and her love of leading. This we have seen since her early college days as an activist. Surely the presidential process has not been easy and I'm sure as of late it has been more difficult not to succumb to fear. But Hillary presses forward in love. She moves day to day in determination, refusing to be fearful, in love and hot pursuit of the presidency.
Huffington says "it's all about getting up one more time than we fall down." Another wise saying reads "a wise man (or woman) falls down seven times and gets up eight." God bless Hillary Clinton for her great love, displayed in her fearless actions to run such a formidable presidential race. She has fallen down and yet arises, giving countless of young women the idea that Yes, We Can! For this, I am sincerely grateful.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Being Fearless in Love
What is the best way to handle fear of success, fear of failure, fear of loneliness or fear of separation? What is the best way to deal with fear in general?
Love is the way. There is a saying that says, "perfect love casts out all fear."
Fear dissipates with love. Focus on the love of another or the love of a task, make it lovely, even when it appears not to be. Find the love. Love the process.
God is love.
Love is the way. There is a saying that says, "perfect love casts out all fear."
Fear dissipates with love. Focus on the love of another or the love of a task, make it lovely, even when it appears not to be. Find the love. Love the process.
God is love.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Being Our Brother's Keeper
We are our brother's keeper.
But our brother has the responsibility
of being kept.
But our brother has the responsibility
of being kept.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Being Non-Judgemental
After closing on an investment property this week, I went over to assess and tally what would be needed to restore the property. As I walked the property I noticed some men a few houses down putting a new roof on. The truck behind the dumpster had a license from Tennessee. I walked over to find out their various skill sets. We would be needing a roof on a few of our other homes, but we also need work on the newly purchased home just down the street. Now, I'm usually drawn to those different from me and I'm used to a variety of personalities and characters. But these guys had a particular draw that was like a scene straight out of a Daniel Boone or Davey Crockett movie. As they walked towards me, I could almost hear the Davey Crockett song:
Born on a mountain top in Tennessee
Greenest state in the land of the free.
Raised in the woods so's he knew ev'ry tree.
Kilt him a b'ar when he was only three.
Davey, Davey Crockett, king of the wild frontier.
I liked them immediately. They were an ebullient group with southern charm to die for. Some were burly redheads and the others were tall lean as rails with pure white hair. All had southern accents with hearty laughs and long bushy beards and mustaches. My favorite mountain man, Jesse, has pure wild white hair down his back with a matching beard and shocking blue eyes. He looked like he had walked off of a movie set. He was brusque and equally charming and respectful, saying "yes, ma'am" every other line, though he must be at least 15 years my senior.
After discussing what their skills were, I asked if they would phone me so I could take them through the house. Enoch, Jesse's brother, said. "I'll come over there right now and see what you need. We'll be happy to help you, ma'am. Anything you need done we can do it. That's a promise." Wow! I liked him too. My partner and I are buying quite a few of these, up to some 200 homes, and the more crews we find to do the work with excellence the better.
Now, I didn't know they're abilities, but I really liked their attitude. That's half the battle. They were aggressive, endearing and intriguing. We walked over, went through the work details for the inside and outside of the house. He gave me a quote on the spot which was considerably less than the other quotes I had received. Things were looking really good.
I wondered if they could start tomorrow with a few smaller projects and we would go from there. "Ma'am I'll send my other brother Caleb and Jake over and they can start now." He wrote out a proposal instantly and his brother were over in 15 minutes changing locks and tearing down a swing set and fort. They worked with precision and togetherness that was sheer beauty. It took them 4 hours to do the proposed tasks, going to the dump site twice; the fort was huge! I was impressed.
My partner and I both have other businesses. As our time is limited finding good crews is important. We want to keep our staff intimate and we certainly would not like or can't micro manage them. I phoned my partner to tell him that I had found these really great guys from Tennessee. He was not impressed. Perhaps he did not take to my colorful descriptions of the group of men from Tennessee I affectionately dubbed "my mountain men."
Being very conservative and not extremely effusive, especially about those whom he doesn't know, my partner was not impressed as I spoke of this unlikely crew. (Of course, he hadn't met them yet.) I tried to convince him that they had done excellent work so far and that their 80 year old father had accompanied the brothers who came later to the property, dressed with overalls and all.
Surely, these men must have come from reasonably good stock. The dad's presence reminded me of the generational closeness that used to be very apparent in families. This somewhat impressed my partner. "Well, the price is right," he said. "OK. Offer them a case of beer once they're done. They'll really like that." I objected to this stereotype, adding that they were Irish too. Although he didn't really warm up to my crew I knew that he would be won over once he saw their work.
This morning after a few inspections on two properties, I took him over to the house to meet the crew. At 7:00 Jesse phone to tell me that they were on their way to the house. I loved this! By the time we got there at 12:00 Jesse was on the roof rebuilding the chimney. Enoch, Caleb, and Jake were putting up new gutters on the garage with such precision that marveled my partner.
Their dad watched on admiringly with a keen eye, giving advice to them and me. When we went to look at another one of our homes later on he chose the color of the title for the roof and gave suggestions as to the kind of vents and gutters to use. My partner was in awe as he watched these guys work. Their rhythm was flawless. (Who said that a certain group of people only had rhythm? And who determines its ebb and flow, its synchronicity? It's the steady multiple beats on cue that matter most, whether fast or slow or intermittently) Yes, these mountain men HAD rhythm, such of their very own.
"Would you guys like for me to pick you up a 12 pack when you're finish," my partner asked? "No, sir," said Jesse. " We don't drink. We used to but we don't do that no more. We haven't had a drink in 15 years. We all stopped drinking there all about the same time. " I smiled at my partner; he smiled back. Stereotypes were debunked. Not only were my Tennessee mountain men excellent craftsmen, they were also alcohol-free.
Have you ever misjudged another based on appearances and found out that your judgement was wrong?
Born on a mountain top in Tennessee
Greenest state in the land of the free.
Raised in the woods so's he knew ev'ry tree.
Kilt him a b'ar when he was only three.
Davey, Davey Crockett, king of the wild frontier.
I liked them immediately. They were an ebullient group with southern charm to die for. Some were burly redheads and the others were tall lean as rails with pure white hair. All had southern accents with hearty laughs and long bushy beards and mustaches. My favorite mountain man, Jesse, has pure wild white hair down his back with a matching beard and shocking blue eyes. He looked like he had walked off of a movie set. He was brusque and equally charming and respectful, saying "yes, ma'am" every other line, though he must be at least 15 years my senior.
After discussing what their skills were, I asked if they would phone me so I could take them through the house. Enoch, Jesse's brother, said. "I'll come over there right now and see what you need. We'll be happy to help you, ma'am. Anything you need done we can do it. That's a promise." Wow! I liked him too. My partner and I are buying quite a few of these, up to some 200 homes, and the more crews we find to do the work with excellence the better.
Now, I didn't know they're abilities, but I really liked their attitude. That's half the battle. They were aggressive, endearing and intriguing. We walked over, went through the work details for the inside and outside of the house. He gave me a quote on the spot which was considerably less than the other quotes I had received. Things were looking really good.
I wondered if they could start tomorrow with a few smaller projects and we would go from there. "Ma'am I'll send my other brother Caleb and Jake over and they can start now." He wrote out a proposal instantly and his brother were over in 15 minutes changing locks and tearing down a swing set and fort. They worked with precision and togetherness that was sheer beauty. It took them 4 hours to do the proposed tasks, going to the dump site twice; the fort was huge! I was impressed.
My partner and I both have other businesses. As our time is limited finding good crews is important. We want to keep our staff intimate and we certainly would not like or can't micro manage them. I phoned my partner to tell him that I had found these really great guys from Tennessee. He was not impressed. Perhaps he did not take to my colorful descriptions of the group of men from Tennessee I affectionately dubbed "my mountain men."
Being very conservative and not extremely effusive, especially about those whom he doesn't know, my partner was not impressed as I spoke of this unlikely crew. (Of course, he hadn't met them yet.) I tried to convince him that they had done excellent work so far and that their 80 year old father had accompanied the brothers who came later to the property, dressed with overalls and all.
Surely, these men must have come from reasonably good stock. The dad's presence reminded me of the generational closeness that used to be very apparent in families. This somewhat impressed my partner. "Well, the price is right," he said. "OK. Offer them a case of beer once they're done. They'll really like that." I objected to this stereotype, adding that they were Irish too. Although he didn't really warm up to my crew I knew that he would be won over once he saw their work.
This morning after a few inspections on two properties, I took him over to the house to meet the crew. At 7:00 Jesse phone to tell me that they were on their way to the house. I loved this! By the time we got there at 12:00 Jesse was on the roof rebuilding the chimney. Enoch, Caleb, and Jake were putting up new gutters on the garage with such precision that marveled my partner.
Their dad watched on admiringly with a keen eye, giving advice to them and me. When we went to look at another one of our homes later on he chose the color of the title for the roof and gave suggestions as to the kind of vents and gutters to use. My partner was in awe as he watched these guys work. Their rhythm was flawless. (Who said that a certain group of people only had rhythm? And who determines its ebb and flow, its synchronicity? It's the steady multiple beats on cue that matter most, whether fast or slow or intermittently) Yes, these mountain men HAD rhythm, such of their very own.
"Would you guys like for me to pick you up a 12 pack when you're finish," my partner asked? "No, sir," said Jesse. " We don't drink. We used to but we don't do that no more. We haven't had a drink in 15 years. We all stopped drinking there all about the same time. " I smiled at my partner; he smiled back. Stereotypes were debunked. Not only were my Tennessee mountain men excellent craftsmen, they were also alcohol-free.
Have you ever misjudged another based on appearances and found out that your judgement was wrong?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Being a Leader
Being a leader requires honesty in practicing what we preach. Honesty, that which comes from a place of inner percetpion, is an underrated value of leadership. Honesty, however, is not necessarily truth, nor does it is immediately create value all the time. But it is, though sometimes not particularly well aligned, still a place of passionate collaborative beginnings heart to heart. Honesty pushes us to a practice that propels self-motivation and the motivation of others in agreement or dissent.
It is so very easy to expound on the virtues of leadership such as valuing dissent, holding variables singularly, or collectively making decisions. But it is a true leader who does these things, even when what is believe is challenged. Preaching is not doing. The great Apostle Paul understood that he had to practice what he preached "lest, when I have preached," he said, "I myself should become disqualified."
Our not doing is often not by design. We often purpose to do exactly what we preach but internal and external voices of fear become our measurement of action, often inhibiting us from real progression, that of acting which means more than mental ascension. It has also become acceptable in our very politically correct world, where honesty of thought is muzzled and benign insipid ideology are heraled as civility and correctness, to merely speak what is in vogue, doing nothing, although our hearts rail against it.
The dishonesty of our own hearts sets in motion a far more devastating path than that of not speaking at all. It is far better to be silent. Words have creative power and if spoken dishonestly (I'm not merely speaking here of a lie, but of a perpetual way of being) it can create damaging dis-ease within ourselves and in others that brings on a kind of paralysis.
It's a mouth and meditation thing that leads to honesty in practicing what we preach. May our mouths line up with our meditations and our actions speak collective truth. As a leader, this is my prayer: "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."
It is so very easy to expound on the virtues of leadership such as valuing dissent, holding variables singularly, or collectively making decisions. But it is a true leader who does these things, even when what is believe is challenged. Preaching is not doing. The great Apostle Paul understood that he had to practice what he preached "lest, when I have preached," he said, "I myself should become disqualified."
Our not doing is often not by design. We often purpose to do exactly what we preach but internal and external voices of fear become our measurement of action, often inhibiting us from real progression, that of acting which means more than mental ascension. It has also become acceptable in our very politically correct world, where honesty of thought is muzzled and benign insipid ideology are heraled as civility and correctness, to merely speak what is in vogue, doing nothing, although our hearts rail against it.
The dishonesty of our own hearts sets in motion a far more devastating path than that of not speaking at all. It is far better to be silent. Words have creative power and if spoken dishonestly (I'm not merely speaking here of a lie, but of a perpetual way of being) it can create damaging dis-ease within ourselves and in others that brings on a kind of paralysis.
It's a mouth and meditation thing that leads to honesty in practicing what we preach. May our mouths line up with our meditations and our actions speak collective truth. As a leader, this is my prayer: "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Being a Mother
My beautiful brilliant immensely strong mother of 5' 3" raised 12 children (all ranging from 5' 5" to 6' 4") alone with a great combination of love and discipline with the "one man she loved next to God." Although my father was not around regularly (he too was a great man but with some weaknesses), she never bad mouthed him, nor did she ever raise her voice in anger towards us...not once! Regretfully, I cannot say the same about me. I have, however, without doubt, mellowed with years and never did I ever seek to hurt or offend others.
My mother showed us an extraordinary amount of love and discipline too. By today's standard, I have no doubt that she might be considered somewhat abusive but one could most certainly not argue with the results, nor does any of her children dispute her undying, unselfish love. She was the brightest most intelligent kindest most loving person I have ever known. Now ask me if when she spoke in soft tones if we absolutely knew she meant business. We did! But I must admit that she did not spare the rod, spanking us, no whipping us whenever she thought we had crossed noted boundaries. I must also admit to getting my fair share of whippings...believe me.
Not only did my mother apply corporal punishment, but so did my aunts, and seniors of our church. (And believe me no one was just beating up on us. Her eye was keen and watchful, her perceptions near flawless. She was sharp!) I do, however, wish to express that even with this sort of discipline it was abundantly clear that her whipping us was as she often said "more painful to me than it is to you." I didn't believe her then, thinking this can't be so. But as I got older I could clearly see that she was speaking truthfully. She would actually speak to us in soft determined tones as she delivered each lash her face ever so slightly twitching. I hated those talks. But value them today.
All of my siblings are productive citizens. We are ministers, chaplains, and entrepreneurs. Some have multiple degrees. We are also trained musicians, artists, and lovers of people of every nationality and creed. We are world travelers. My mother, though imperfect, showed us an abundant amount of love, discipline, and kindness unmatched by that of anyone I know. She was unselfish, but we respected her space. She guarded this too, teaching us to respect her space and each others and by extension others. Imagine this in a house of 12 children that are only a few years apart? From the oldest to the youngest there are 15 years between us. I'm the youngest.
Not only did my mother show great love to us, but to countless of others also. While we could not visit the homes of too many other kids unless she knew their parent well, our 7 bedroom house was always full of other peoples kids. We were also expected to visit nursing homes, tutor others, and show others acts of kindness regularly. "If you have two and your neighbor needs one, give it freely," she would say. We had great fun too! Being the cousin of Richard Pryor, she also had an amazing sense of humor. I miss her tremendously.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and to the fathers who are in such a role.
My mother showed us an extraordinary amount of love and discipline too. By today's standard, I have no doubt that she might be considered somewhat abusive but one could most certainly not argue with the results, nor does any of her children dispute her undying, unselfish love. She was the brightest most intelligent kindest most loving person I have ever known. Now ask me if when she spoke in soft tones if we absolutely knew she meant business. We did! But I must admit that she did not spare the rod, spanking us, no whipping us whenever she thought we had crossed noted boundaries. I must also admit to getting my fair share of whippings...believe me.
Not only did my mother apply corporal punishment, but so did my aunts, and seniors of our church. (And believe me no one was just beating up on us. Her eye was keen and watchful, her perceptions near flawless. She was sharp!) I do, however, wish to express that even with this sort of discipline it was abundantly clear that her whipping us was as she often said "more painful to me than it is to you." I didn't believe her then, thinking this can't be so. But as I got older I could clearly see that she was speaking truthfully. She would actually speak to us in soft determined tones as she delivered each lash her face ever so slightly twitching. I hated those talks. But value them today.
All of my siblings are productive citizens. We are ministers, chaplains, and entrepreneurs. Some have multiple degrees. We are also trained musicians, artists, and lovers of people of every nationality and creed. We are world travelers. My mother, though imperfect, showed us an abundant amount of love, discipline, and kindness unmatched by that of anyone I know. She was unselfish, but we respected her space. She guarded this too, teaching us to respect her space and each others and by extension others. Imagine this in a house of 12 children that are only a few years apart? From the oldest to the youngest there are 15 years between us. I'm the youngest.
Not only did my mother show great love to us, but to countless of others also. While we could not visit the homes of too many other kids unless she knew their parent well, our 7 bedroom house was always full of other peoples kids. We were also expected to visit nursing homes, tutor others, and show others acts of kindness regularly. "If you have two and your neighbor needs one, give it freely," she would say. We had great fun too! Being the cousin of Richard Pryor, she also had an amazing sense of humor. I miss her tremendously.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and to the fathers who are in such a role.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Being Respectful
In a recent post entitled "????????" at http://www.tompeters.com/ there is discussion about how to best respond to people in authority who are demanding and who lead with fierce ruthlessness. The discussion included how to respond to pricks in authority and asked if women could even be pricks technically.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines prick as:
4. usually vulgar: penis
5. usually vulgar: a spiteful or contemptible man often having some authority
Having recently written on gender matters on this blog, I have thought further about pricks and determine that while women can indeed be difficult leaders they cannot conceivably be pricks. Women are without that essential anatomy that bestows such a title. But they can, needless to say, be just as difficult as pricks which perhaps make them pricks of sorts. Who's going to "totally obliterate" Iran? It sounds like another disturbing refrain, "bomb bomb Iran."
The discussion at tompeters.com and my writing on this blog led me to think about men and women leadership styles. Whether some things are by nature or nurture, it is clear that women generally lead differently from men broader consensus ability where as men tend to lead forthrightly. While it has been long believed that difference is a diminishing factor, difference is not deficient as was so pointed out in a recent post here.
Women lead best in ways that are congruent with our strengths, not assuming caricatures of preconceived no holds barred macho male images that haven't altogether worked well for men. Some say that the US image has been damaged irreparably because of such machismo heroics and rhetoric, destroying many years of goodwill globally. Conversely, nor do men need to lead from an emotional super sensitive center that forever builds consensus when action is required. There is a balance needed which comes out of strength, confidence, respect, and doing unto others as we would like done to us.
In considering how to respond to pricks of all kinds, the following are suggested:
1. Be respectful to pricks in authority even when the are not respectful. (This teaches invaluable lessons in humility and focus that will pay off big professionally and personally.)
2. Do not undermine a pricks authority; work, instead, to create solutions.
3. Be positive! Keep a great attitude in spite of pricks.
4. Be the very best in your position and align yourselves with other positive persons on your team. (Excellence will distinguish your team and isolate the prick in authority. Who's really succeeding here? Who then becomes marginalized?)
5. Don't run! Hold your ground. Pricks are everywhere. You win!
Being respectful to pricks in authority and achieving excellence in spite of them, gives great satisfaction. It may also, in fact, teach them the error of their ways, not by words but by deeds. Whether your actions have direct affect on the prick in authority is not of the utmost importance.
Never make the prick in authority the focus. Respect his/her position but do not focus on them, their personal success or shortcomings. The focus must remain on the problem at hand. Focus on what needs to be accomplished.
Have you run into pricks in your work environment? How have you handled pricks in authority?
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines prick as:
4. usually vulgar: penis
5. usually vulgar: a spiteful or contemptible man often having some authority
Having recently written on gender matters on this blog, I have thought further about pricks and determine that while women can indeed be difficult leaders they cannot conceivably be pricks. Women are without that essential anatomy that bestows such a title. But they can, needless to say, be just as difficult as pricks which perhaps make them pricks of sorts. Who's going to "totally obliterate" Iran? It sounds like another disturbing refrain, "bomb bomb Iran."
The discussion at tompeters.com and my writing on this blog led me to think about men and women leadership styles. Whether some things are by nature or nurture, it is clear that women generally lead differently from men broader consensus ability where as men tend to lead forthrightly. While it has been long believed that difference is a diminishing factor, difference is not deficient as was so pointed out in a recent post here.
Women lead best in ways that are congruent with our strengths, not assuming caricatures of preconceived no holds barred macho male images that haven't altogether worked well for men. Some say that the US image has been damaged irreparably because of such machismo heroics and rhetoric, destroying many years of goodwill globally. Conversely, nor do men need to lead from an emotional super sensitive center that forever builds consensus when action is required. There is a balance needed which comes out of strength, confidence, respect, and doing unto others as we would like done to us.
In considering how to respond to pricks of all kinds, the following are suggested:
1. Be respectful to pricks in authority even when the are not respectful. (This teaches invaluable lessons in humility and focus that will pay off big professionally and personally.)
2. Do not undermine a pricks authority; work, instead, to create solutions.
3. Be positive! Keep a great attitude in spite of pricks.
4. Be the very best in your position and align yourselves with other positive persons on your team. (Excellence will distinguish your team and isolate the prick in authority. Who's really succeeding here? Who then becomes marginalized?)
5. Don't run! Hold your ground. Pricks are everywhere. You win!
Being respectful to pricks in authority and achieving excellence in spite of them, gives great satisfaction. It may also, in fact, teach them the error of their ways, not by words but by deeds. Whether your actions have direct affect on the prick in authority is not of the utmost importance.
Never make the prick in authority the focus. Respect his/her position but do not focus on them, their personal success or shortcomings. The focus must remain on the problem at hand. Focus on what needs to be accomplished.
Have you run into pricks in your work environment? How have you handled pricks in authority?
Monday, May 5, 2008
Being Man and Woman
"You remind me of a man."
"What man?"
"The man with power."
"What power?"
"The power of Hoodoo."
"Who do?"
"Do what?"
"Remind me of a man."
"What man?"
"The man with the power."
"What power?"
"Give up?"
"Give up. Let's go."
-The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer (1947)
"What man?"
"The man with power."
"What power?"
"The power of Hoodoo."
"Who do?"
"Do what?"
"Remind me of a man."
"What man?"
"The man with the power."
"What power?"
"Give up?"
"Give up. Let's go."
-The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer (1947)
Being Woman II
"The real king is on the throne, Jean is my very own, and life couldn't possibly, not even probably, life couldn't possibly better be!"
-The Court Jester (1959)
-The Court Jester (1959)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Being Woman
Positioning of Power II
What power lies beneath to build or destroy.
What power lies beneath to be direct or coy.
What power lies beneath to conquer or subsume.
What power lies beneath to create or doom.
What power lies beneath to embrace or withdraw.
What power lies beneath to control wherewithal.
What power lies beneath to be or not to be.
What power lies beneath to answer assuredly.
What power lies beneath to be human and divine.
What power lies beneath to take what's wholly thine.
What power lies beneath to proportion or gouge.
What power lies beneath to belabor and hound.
What power lies beneath to think intuitively.
What power lies beneath to act innovatively.
Power is. Use it wisely. Much depends on this.
What power lies beneath to build or destroy.
What power lies beneath to be direct or coy.
What power lies beneath to conquer or subsume.
What power lies beneath to create or doom.
What power lies beneath to embrace or withdraw.
What power lies beneath to control wherewithal.
What power lies beneath to be or not to be.
What power lies beneath to answer assuredly.
What power lies beneath to be human and divine.
What power lies beneath to take what's wholly thine.
What power lies beneath to proportion or gouge.
What power lies beneath to belabor and hound.
What power lies beneath to think intuitively.
What power lies beneath to act innovatively.
Power is. Use it wisely. Much depends on this.
Being Man
Positioning of Power I
What power lies so openly casting all doubt assuredly.
What power lies so openly making all decisions prisonly.
What power lies so openly black or white dominately.
What power lies so openly strength is casted unabashedly.
What power lies so openly no sign of weakness characteristically.
What power lies so openly that none can see you clearly.
What power lies so openly that undermines perpetually.
What power lies so openly that crushes cons completely.
What power lies so openly yet the phallic creeps insidiously.
What power lies so openly that decisions are seen as infallibility.
What power lies so openly that dismisses the other demeaningly.
What power lies so openly yet inside yearns for the other tenderly.
What power lies so openly that words become irrevocably.
What power lies so openly the rocking hand returns inadvertently.
Power often is not. Reconsider. Much depends on this.
What power lies so openly casting all doubt assuredly.
What power lies so openly making all decisions prisonly.
What power lies so openly black or white dominately.
What power lies so openly strength is casted unabashedly.
What power lies so openly no sign of weakness characteristically.
What power lies so openly that none can see you clearly.
What power lies so openly that undermines perpetually.
What power lies so openly that crushes cons completely.
What power lies so openly yet the phallic creeps insidiously.
What power lies so openly that decisions are seen as infallibility.
What power lies so openly that dismisses the other demeaningly.
What power lies so openly yet inside yearns for the other tenderly.
What power lies so openly that words become irrevocably.
What power lies so openly the rocking hand returns inadvertently.
Power often is not. Reconsider. Much depends on this.
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