Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Being Autistic

When my beautiful niece, Soma, was just a wee one, I noticed right away that she was not as observant and responsive as she might have been. I mentioned it to my mother. For a little while my sister seemed somewhat in denial and I could not speak with her about it. But eventually she accepted the fact that Soma was not like the rest of her children and needed particular attention. She began taking steps to see that Soma had the best education possible. Because Soma is in the best school district in her area she is mainstreamed and gets the best one on one attention in each class.
It's amazing how well Soma has improved over the years. Soma's now 14. Like her sister, Delores, she is lean and tall. Delores wants to go into the performing arts. She wants to be an actor and model. The extraordinary thing is that Delores has to work twice as hard as Soma to remember her lines for school plays. Soma can listen to a movie once and memorize all the parts of the entire movie. Delores thinks that this is unfair. But I have reminded Delores that everybody doesn't get everything. It was a great example in the diversity of gifts of which all should be respected and appreciated.

14 comments:

septembermom said...

Let's celebrate what each of us has to offer to this world. All of God's children are valuable "blossoms" in Earth's wonderful garden. Lovely post, Judith. Beautiful photos too.

Judith Ellis said...

What beautiful words, Kelly. Thank you. Soma has what she needs, including a very supportive family and extended family. When we get together I take out time with her especially. I have tried for years to focus her when I'm around. She has done incredibly well. Most times there is so very much going in the house in which we meet that I find a semi-quiet place and read for a bit. Soma always finds me as she did above and joins me with a book of her own.

rebecca said...

I have a grandnephew who is autistic. He's more the solitary type that does not socialize with people at all, even a great number of family members. However, if he feels comfortable with you, he comes out of his shell and is extremely articulate. He goes to a special school that services only autistic children because he is unable to handle a regular one. He's off the charts academically and at 10 his IQ was tested at 130 I believe. He has a photographic memory, can read complex material and understand it, and is highly artistic. As a matter of fact, this Sunday he is having his first show at a gallery in town. He won a grant to study Pollock, Monet, Matisse and VanGogh and he had to create his own paintings "in the manner of." The postcard of one if his paintings that was an invite floored me. He captured Pollock as if he had channeled him. This is his gift and he's been called a child genius by his art teachers. Ten years old. And yet, on the other side of the coin he becomes so focused on his task at hand that he still has accidents on him every day. He "forgets" to go to the bathroom. He's unable to go to school without a personal aide because if something captures his attention (as it often does) he wanders off. He becomes fixated on things and programs and needs a regimented lifestyle because anything out of his "ordinary" can make him terribly anxious and unable to cope. He has a mind and an intellect and understanding of things not many people have and that all autistic children/adults share but is unable to function like a normal child.

I am so happy that your niece is doing well Judith. To mainstream them as much as we can is the most we can do and yet I know there are different levels of autism and I have hope and pray that my grandnephew one day can function at least somewhat on his own.

Thank you for sharing this. I think - if my nephew permits me - when I go to his art showing this weekend and take pictures, that I can post his son's works on my blog. There are so many faces of autism and though some can communicate verbally while others cannot, it does not mean that they are uncommunicative. This is where we fail to see. They ALL communicate, you just have to find their firm, their own personal language.

Blessings to you dear sister, dear friend and to your beautiful and unique and precious niece as well. May she always be blessed.....

Judith Ellis said...

Rebecca - Thank you so much for sharing the story of your wonderful nephew. What I have come to know is that there are various levels of autism. Soma has always been in the area schools and she functions rather well. She does not always express herself clearly.

I love the idea of finding ways to communicate with autistic children, even for non-autistic ones and adults. We express ourselves differently and process information differently. I learned the value of finding ways to communicate with each student when I was a substitute teacher for many years as I worked on my PhD.

Please take photos of your nephew's artwork and do write a post. I'd love to see his artwork and the beautiful boy himself. Thank you for your blessing. I receive it on behalf of Soma and return the same blessing to your wonderful nephew and those who love him. Peace and love to you, my sister, my friend.

The Write Girl said...

Hey Judith,

God bless your niece Soma. My cousin also has autism. He is doing well and has gotten great schooling. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I hope they find a cure for autism someday.

Judith Ellis said...

Hey Lovely Poet - How are you? Well I hope. I also hope that there is a cure for autism. A very good friend that I grew up with, Marva Hanks, and her husband, Merton Hanks, the former NFL safety with the 49ers and current senior manager and director of operations for the NFL, have a beautiful autistic daughter who had a piano debute at Carnegie Hall last year. Marva is very active in autistic causes and raises large sums of money each year for the cause. Their visibility helps.

Marion said...

Judith, you have the most beautiful and talented family! Soma reminds me of myself when I was her age with those long, skinny legs!!

My younger daughter just called me tonight to tell me about her students (she teaches 5th grade Math). One of her students is Autistic and has an aide to help out with him. But he hates bugs and keeps his own fly swatter for going out at recess and it keeps him calm. He overheard my daughter, Sarah, telling another teacher that she hates bugs, too, so he gave her his fly swatter! She took it as a great honor and thanked him profusely (he has several). Apparently he was happy that he shares a phobia with his new teacher. God bless our teachers. We should all remember to pray for them daily!! Love & Blessings!!

Judith Ellis said...

What a beautiful story, Marion. Thank you so very much for that. It made me smile the biggest smile. Peace and love to you too.

Judith Ellis said...

Oh, and God bless our teachers indeed. They are among my favorite people.

Judith Ellis said...

And... we musn't forget to pray for teachers DAILY. Many blessings to Sarah, Marion.

rebecca said...

Judith,

I remember seeing this link on another blogsite a few years ago. It is powerful and is given by an autistic woman who says that just because she does not communicate in the language we are accustomed to, does not mean she can't communicate. It was then that I realized how very true that statement was. The beginning of the video is filled with the sounds that she does and finds comforting but then when she starts speaking (through her computer), the intellect behind and the 'common sense' that one fails to see, is strong and powerful. Take a look. You will not be disasppointed.

Judith Ellis said...

Thank you, Rebecca, for that most inspiring video. I have seen it before, but it remains inspiring and I am happy you have included it here for myself and others. It is a powerful video. Thanks again.

Corrie Howe said...

Thank you for sharing about your niece. I'm glad to hear that your sister did eventually see and get her help. It is sad to see how children struggle when their parents are in denial.

I loved reading all the comments. Wow! talk about inspiring.

I below to a group called "Moms In Touch International." It is an organization helping moms pray for their children and the schools they are in. It is great to see God answering as we are praying.

Judith Ellis said...

Corrie - Thank you for your visit. I was inspired by your post about your beautiful son. Thank you for the mention of the group. I hope it will be helpful to those who pass through here. Do come again. Blessings!