Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Being a Walmart Shopper

Let me say emphatically before you read one more word that I am by no means a snob. I've even been known to shop at Walmart, but never in pajama pants. You've probably been there too. But I must confess that I laughed hysterically at the site that has crashed because of so much traffic, People of Walmart.

Not being a big Walmart fan, not only because of its policies where people work for minimum wage and just below a 40-hour work week, preventing them from receiving health care benefits, as the Walton family make multiple billions annually, the People of Walmart site added to my glee. Yeah, I know that it may seem a bit twisted as most of it's core customers probably work minimum wage jobs themselves which profits Walmart.

Generally speaking, I am not a big fan of any Big Box store, as they draw people and resources outside of their communities.

Walmart could probably care less about the People of Walmart site, as it already knows its core customers well. The description and stories below are funny to me because I promise you I have seen and heard the likes of many of these in Walmart and I'm sure others have too, hence the reason for the website crash.

Visitors to the site are encouraged to upload pictures of Walmart shoppers.

Let’s face it; we all have seen the people who obviously don’t have mirrors and/or family and friends to lock them in a basement, and they all seem to congregate at Walmart. It’s not everywhere that you can shop for milk at 10 a.m. next to a 400lb mother of 6 wearing a pink tube top, leopard tights, and hooker heels.

Where else can one go to pick up underwear at 3 O’clock in the afternoon and spot the greatest mullet of all time paired with a mustard stained wife beater (which only accents the extreme amount of body hair) and camo pants that were actually used in Vietnam.

And if you haven’t ran into the 6'2" bull-dyke with a shaved head, rockin a wonder bra, flannel cutoff shirt, and jean shorts at 2 a.m. when you're there to pick up frozen pizza, Doritos, and Chips Ahoy cookies, then you can get the fuck out right now.
Okay, some of it is perhaps in bad taste, but isn't some of it funny? God forgive me if it's cruel. But I think the site's funny in the way that "All in the Family," one of my all-time favorite shows is. But I will gladly repent if need be. In the meantime, I'm laughing hysterically.

Letting it all hang out, telling the world you’ve stopped caring about your appearance and scarfing down hunks of cheese and greasy pizza as you parade about the aisles in search of cheaper ice cream and a new pair of Dickies to disguise the cigarette burns from your last Saturday night blowup with the missus.

That’s the scene at your local Wal-Mart. But wait, let’s not forget parents who scream at their children and constantly hold the threat of physical punishment over their heads while they curse into their prepaid cell phones. What chance do kids have of behaving appropriately in that situation when the People of Wal Mart are their role models?

Time asks why the People of Wal Mart often don’t dress or act appropriately, why their clothing choices range from lazy to eccentric, bronco busting to burlesque. Why have they stopped caring about putting their best face forward?
What are your thoughts, funny or not?


miss alaineus said...

i've been boycotting walmart since the security gaurd at the first livonia store refused to call the police for me after someone t-boned me just past their driveway. something about having to call 911 on a payphone in the vestibule just didnt sit right with me. i also abhor their hiring/employment policies, politics, etc.

the true irony of walmart is more than that site and the portion of humanity it features (which i have seen and find effing hilarious). you don't even have to GO INTO the store to see it either. go to your local walmart and play 'spot the SUV' with the big angry "wanna lose your job: keep buying foreign" bumper sticker, or the ubiquitous "buy american" bumper sticker. extra points if you can take a picture of the sticker with the walmart logo/signage somewhere in the frame. now that's irony...


Marion said...

Oh, Judith, this is too funny. My friends and I call it Wally World from one of the old Chevy Chase movies, like it's a theme park, and it IS entertaining as you said.

I tried to boycott them, I really did. I tried every grocery store in town, but sadly, nobody had lower prices and as my husband and I are on a VERY low fixed income, I had to sadly drag my sorry butt back there to shop. I only go once every month or two and then for things I can't buy cheaper anywhere else. I hate the place and all it stands for. Thanks for giving me my first smile of the day. Blessings!!

Judith Ellis said...

Ah, funny, but sad Alaina, eh?

On one hand, Walmart offers low prices. That can't be refuted. On the other hand, its hiring/employment policies, as you've noted, are despicable. So, it does good while doing incredibly bad. Some might find a dilemma here. For me, the policies outweigh the savings. But I have wrestled with it.

By the way, were you on their property when you were t-boned? As a courtesy, the security officer should have called the police. But I'm thinking Walmart must have some policy that prevented the security guard from calling if the accident didn't happen on their property. Walmart probably does this to prevent calls to 911 from their store, reducing the number of reports for PR reasons. Was the security guard concerned about YOU? I wonder if he would have called EMS.

People first. The security guard’s reaction probably points to profit first.

Judith Ellis said...

Oh, Marion, the theme park theme cracked me up! LOL! Your shopping there, without a doubt, points to the dilemma mentioned earlier. Best, friend.

septembermom said...

That's a term for one of my poems: "hooker heels" :) You're keeping me laughing tonight Judith. I'm not thrilled with Walmart's disregard for their employees either. I have to check out this site.

Judith Ellis said...

Oh, Kelly, you're gonna roll! I've been laughing all day.